Brextorians had long suspected that at the time of the Brexit negotiations, a series of audio recordings were made by and of government officials. In the year 3563, their suspicions were confirmed with the discovery of the first cache of tapes: conversations in the halls of Westminster and in private residences, secretly recorded in direct contravention of privacy laws. In The Brexit Tapes, the transcripts of these recordings are published for the very first time. Compiled by leading Brextorian John Bull, they offer a remarkable insight into the lost years from the Referendum to the Second Dark Age, and a clear picture of the events leading up to the civil war that followed. Directly challenging the accounts of Brexit provided in The Book of Mogg and Lord Johnson's Res Brexitica, these transcripts are our first concrete record of history as it happened and, for the modern reader, a way to finally understand one of the most tumultuous periods of British history.